From today the ties of bondage are released.
After years of denial, self-loathing, hatred, self-pity and internal emotional pain, I am no longer interlinked with you. The way I know you want me to be.
Goodbye, farewell seems somewhat lame for such a momentous occasion but for me to sit here today and admit my need and want to say goodbye is mentally and physically very strange, but also somewhat very apt, to say the least.
I am sat in the doctors’ surgery as I write to you taking action to better myself and furthermore permanently distance myself from you.
We have been everywhere together night and day, through thick and thin.
You seem to have been there for me no matter what!
A companion to console me when no one else would, could or should.
But now my days are getting brighter and one day very soon you will become a familiar face. One needs not to forget.
As I write this letter I feel torrential emotions running through me. Feelings of happiness, desperation, sorry and anger, frustration and humiliation.
But this will now dissipate to calmness, as I say and feel my final farewell.
No more will I yearn for you!
Drudge through life to get to you! Lie for you! Steal for you! Disgust myself nor die for you.
Today we part our ways! Unlike so many other things and people I’ve been separated from, you my friend, I will and can never forget. After all I have let you take from me including my sanity.
I bow to you! You win!
You’ve taken my mother! No way will you take me too because I will never be beholden to you again.
Be seeing you around I am sure. With a constant reminder where I’ve been and where I am going.
Andrew Boothroyd (age 41 ¾)
Article featured in RecoveryTimes issue 8